Sales meetings, when managed properly, can be an effective tool to help communicate, train and motivate a sales team. Top sales leaders make the most of this limited but valuable time by focusing on activities that are shown to have the greatest positive influence on their team’s performance.

One proven way to help increase the quality and value of a sales meeting is to use a list of best-practices. These lists can be very helpful, but be sure to confirm that you’re taking advice from a reputable source, i.e. a successful sales manager, and not the advice of some sales manager hack wannabe.

To illustrate my point, check out the list below - I stumbled across it a few weeks ago. I wanted to share it with you because…well…it really helped hit home the point. When reading through the list, I found it most helpful to think about doing the exact opposite of what’s being recommended. This way, you’ll not only get the humor, but also ensure that you’re on the right path to leading both effective and productive sales meetings – for you and your team.

It should have been called…Sales Meeting Worst Practices. Here they are:

• Show up late for your sales meeting
• This type non-verbal communication is especially effective in helping the team understand how unimportant sales meetings really are.
  
• Don’t use an agenda
  
• If you do decide to use an agenda, make sure that you hold off on distributing it until the team arrives at the conference room – this way you can see the expressions on people’s faces. Also, be sure that the agenda is packed with topics that are completely irrelevant and disinteresting to the salespeople - this is a great way to help ensure reps come fully prepared to zone-out.
  
• Start the meeting by introducing unannounced major changes
• Important, personal announcements, such as compensation plan changes, are a great way to help start off your meeting with a bang. What’s more, they almost always guarantee that you catch everyone off-guard (which sales people love). Remember too, everyone loves surprises.
  
• Always follow alarming announcements with bashing individuals and the team
• Letting the meeting turn into a complaint session is the sign of truly talented sales leader. Teach your team to embrace this type of energy and apply it whenever the opportunity arises.
• Scrap recognition and encourage everyone in the meeting to gang-up on poor performers
  
• The conference room setting not only makes it hard for “C players” to escape the ridicule, but helps build a special type of solidarity among reps. Think of it as an exercise in team-building.
  
• Use twitter as a way to fill time while your team is strategizing how to win major deals
  
• Not only will this win you respect and praise as a legitimate “hands-off” manager, but it will also make it crystal clear to your team that your priorities clearly do include helping them succeed.
  
• Manage the time poorly
  
• Reps are always looking for a reason to be late to their next appointment – so what better person is there to lend a hand. Communicate specifically what time the meeting will start and end, and then just keep everyone late enough guarantee they’re late to their next appointment.